This was my response to a post from an American who claimed that Philippine women are “better” than American Women: Let me offer my perspective. Please feel free to disagree!
I’ve only been married to one American woman and one Filipina but, like everyone else, have observed many other relationships. I don’t think it’s a question of which are “better” women. My American wife was wonderful, as is my Filipina wife.
To me, the major difference is that with many American marriages there is a constant, sometime simmering, sometimes overt, power battle. The American wife is determined to be an equal partner and have an equal voice in each and every decision and aspect of the couple’s shared life. The Filipina, at least the traditional one, definitely wants equality and even dominance, but only in certain areas. She is content to let the husband do what he wants, to feel that he has control in many areas. This vastly reduced turf battle is what makes marriage to a Filipina such a relief for so many men.
The husband must provide for the family, must not womanize or gamble away too much money . He must work and support the family. He must treat his wife and her family with respect, especially in public. He should let his wife run the household. If he does what is expected, he will in turn receive respect, affection and considerable freedom.
I suppose that attitudes are changing, but only slowly. I don’t know who ever described Filipinas as submissive. The Ilonggas of Iloilo are formidable, tough-minded ladies. Cross them at your peril. But, at the root, most marriages still seem pretty traditional. Filipinas are not unaware of how foreign marriages work — maybe that’s why they are content not to emulate them. The very matriarchal Filipino model can work pretty well for women. She runs the things she cares about, but makes the husband feel submitted to. Its the domestic exemplification of the benefits of diplomacy over aggression.
If you are coming to the Philippines to find a wife, I found this article pretty much spot on: