My Philippine Life

Personal perspectives on retirement life in the Philippines

Crime against foreigners in the Philippines

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My wife and I feel  safe living in the Philippines.  Now we live in a house we built in a rural area, on a dead end road with no close neighbors. When we first moved to Iloilo City we lived in an unusually secure private compound in Iloilo City.  We didn’t even have to consider security.  We could leave our doors open if we want to.  We have ridden jeepneys everywhere.  I have literally walked more than a thousand of mile on the streets of Iloilo City and rural paths in the country.  I have never had the slightest problem.  No one has robbed me or threatened me or tried to pick my pocket or done anything but treat me with respect and kindness.  The worst crime we have been a victim of is being overcharged for shrimp in the public market.  Many expats have similar experiences.

Nonetheless, when I read posts by expats saying that there’s no more crime in the Philippines than there is in the USA, I’m concerned.  Americans from LA or Baltimore or Miami might not see much difference. (See this article in the New York Times about the psychology of “lock” and “no lock” advocates.) For small-town Americans, the Philippines can be quite different.   Enthusiasm for their new life in the Philippines, thinking that the situation Philippines is the same as life in the US can prevent foreigners from taking common sense precautions to provide for their own safety in the Philippine context.

I’ve been following news of murders of foreigners in the Philippines for several years. There are quite a few, considering how few foreigners there are in the Philippines.  Here are a few observations which might be of help to anticipate problems.

  • Most violence against foreigners is not perpetrated out of desperation by the poor Filipino whose family needs food or medicine.  Perhaps we are projecting on to Filipinos our own perceptions of what we would do in such circumstances.  Most provincial Filipinos would never commit such acts.  They accept what comes their way as part of God’s plan.
  • I believe that break-ins and murders are not by the desperate acting out of real need, but rather by those who feel it is a way to get rich quick, often by maids, casual workers and boyfriends who have some knowledge, association and access to the foreigner victims.  The operative influences are greed, sex, booze and shabu (methamphetamine) — not helping a sick or hungry family member.
  • Almost all the murders of foreigners I have read of have occurred in the foreigner’s hotel or apartment or home, not in bars, not on the streets, not by the Muslim extremists.  Most of these murders been been committed by people the victim knew or people associated with these people, not by a strangers breaking into their house.
  • The most common perpetrators are the foreigner’s girlfriend’s boyfriend, the maid’s boyfriend, or some relative of the girlfriend wife or the maid.  Ex-employees are another possibility.  These murderers don’t break in, they are let in, either knowingly by the foreigner or by one of the other parties mentioned.   The foreigner is killed because he resists or because the robber is known to him and he does not want to be caught.  Sometimes the accomplice maid or girlfriend is “tied-up” and reports the crime to neighbors or police when she gets free.  I have read of dozens of foreigners murdered in this way.
  • If you are a Caucasian foreigner and stay out of dangerous areas in Mindanao, you probably don’t need to worry about being kidnapped.  Except for Mindanao, kidnappers generally target rich Chinese-Filipinos (Chinoys).  Generally, they pay ransom without going to the police.  The police have been reported to be involved in such kidnappings.  Some foreign businessmen and aid workers have been kidnapped, usually Japanese.  Remember, the vast majority of retirees are pensioners who live on modest retirement pensions — not good kidnap ransom targets.  Kidnapping a rich Chinoy businessman really boils down to negotiations over the size of the ransom.  Kidnapping a foreigner invites complications.
  • If you do have a lot of money, keep it in a foreign bank.  Information about your bank balances in your Philippine bank are not necessarily secure. Don’t brag about or discuss your finances with any one, including other foreigners.  Make sure everyone is aware that you are living off of a pension, that when you die the money stops.  Don’t have a safe in the house.  Everyone will assume it is full of money, even if it’s not. Don’t withdraw large amounts of cash from your bank account.  There have been cases where bank employees sent text messages about large withdrawals to accomplices outside the bank.  The foreigner was robbed at gunpoint.  Pay for major purchases (vehicle, house) with a manager’s check from your Philippine bank.

Break-ins are also a problem.   We have friends whose house was broken into the very first night they stayed there.  Luckily they slept through the experience. Break-ins are very common in their open subdivision.

Here,  just about everyone goes into some level of lock-down at night.  If you’re prosperous you’ll have a concrete wall and iron grates on your windows  If you’re poor you’ll have a bamboo fence and gate, bamboo grates on your windows.  All have a four-legged alarm system — if poor a mutt, if richer a Doberman.  If you leave something out at night, it might well be gone in the morning.  Well-to-do Filipinos move to gated subdivisions.  There are a variety of reasons for that.  For further reading see our Iloilo the real estate primer link /about-iloilo-real-estate/

The wall of Lo Wai, a wall village in Lung Yeuk Tau, Fanling, Hong Kong

The wall of Lo Wai, a walled village in Lung Yeuk Tau, Fanling, Hong Kong

Some foreigners feel it’s distasteful and/or unnecessary to live in a walled compound.  In our view that’s naïve. Every Filipino who can afford it lives behind walls and gates.  Do they do this because they are paranoid about crime.  We assume it’s because they are know what it takes to be safe in their own country.  Walled cities, walled compounds, are everywhere in developing countries and historically a response to insecurity. Think of the lovely walled cities of Europe; Italy, Portugal, Spain and China. They were not built to make better scenery for tourists!

Generally, don’t expect your neighbors, security guards or police to come to your aid if you get into problems at night.  It’s dangerous for them to get involved, just as it may be dangerous for you to intervene to help someone in the middle of the night.  A well-liked, long-time American resident of Iloilo City was recently stabbed to death in his apartment.  Neighbors suspected something was wrong.  After all, the American was a big guy, a martial arts enthusiast, being murdered by four young men.  The neighbors were very close, in a close-packed neighborhood.  It’s hard to imagine there was not a lot of noise.  The neighbors peeked in the windows in the morning and the guy was dead.  Any neighbor coming to his aid might well have been killed too.  Some news accounts tried to portray this murder as the possible work of a New People’s Army “sparrow” assassination unit.  This is far-fetched. The NPA does not generally stab and rob ordinary American retirees in their home at night in the city.

A stable, monogamous married life is prudent.  A taste for young boys has gotten many foreigners into trouble.  Chasing young women can also expose you to all sorts of dangers.

So, there is some benefit, if you live in a city, to life in a gated, guarded subdivision.  It’s not perfect, but low-life characters may find it a bit harder, bit more intimidating, more frightening to get in at night, and a bit harder to flee.  This only applies to subdivisions with real security including roving patrols at night.  It’s no accident that Filipinos move to such subdivisions if they can afford it.  Many subdivisions put up a show of security with a fancy guardhouse, but often anyone is allowed in.

Secure subdivisions don’t exist outside the bigger cities and may be less necessary, but don’t fool yourself.  Many foreigners have been killed in their bucolic rural homes. Foreigners report that they have lived in such and such a place for two or three or five years and have never had a problem.  While I’m glad that they have not had problems, I don’t feel such anecdotal tidbits really prove anything.

Observe how affluent Filipinos provide for their security.  As mentioned earlier. foreigners sometimes belittle walls, and gated subdivisions and other security precautions that seem over-done or distasteful from an American or European perspective, as though they know better than Filipinos what the dangers are and how to provide security.

Here a few specific security suggestions:

  • Keep gates locked at all times and doors at night.  Night means after dark.
  • Don’t leave your home unattended for any extended period of time and certainly not overnight.  If you are away, have a family member or trusted maid stay in the home.
  • Maintain good control over who comes into your compound or house, especially at night.  Unless you really trust your maid, make sure she can’t let people in.  Once again, if you are murdered, it’s probably because you or someone else let the killer in.  Recently a foreign retiree was watching TV with his wife.  The dog started to bark.  The man opened the door to see what the problem was.  He was immediately stabbed in the stomach by an intruder waiting there.  He died on the way to a hospital.
  • Have one or more noisy dogs. Have the police emergency number programmed into your cellphone and keep your cellphone in your bedroom.  Consider a secure bedroom door and don’t challenge any burglar.  If someone breaks in, stay in your bedroom and let them steal what they like.  Have a very loud panic alarm and lights when can be switched on from your locked bedroom.

We love living in the Philippines.  Many expats may feel these comments to be excessively alarmist.  Most Filipinos would not.  (See Josh’s comments below.)  These comments are intended to help you stay safe, not to frighten. These precautions will become second nature to you.

Related posts:

  1. Philippine Residential Security Tips – U.S. Embassy Manila

41 Comments

  1. Pingback: Anonymous

  2. Hi Hosea and all expats.

    The post of Hosea is very familiar to my experience as an American person with dark skin staying here in the Philippines. There are other issues at hand as well with people here in general. I find most people anywhere in the world to be insincere in their interactions with others they just meet. This is also true with Filipinos.
    Having said that, i think that a person having dark skin makes the problem much worse and keeps filipinos being plastic ( insincere ) due to what they’ve been programmed or taught to believe about so called Blacks or people referred to here as so called ” Negro “. I am married to a filipina and we have a child. That may be the best thing in the world to a person who is so called white. But i think that for most people with dark skin married to a filipino, this causes alot of problems for that person and their family. Even my wife is treated differently. Her brothers work abroad but upon return each year, they have no pasalubong for her or less in some cases compared to what the other siblings get. This wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t getting it before i came into the picture or that wasn’t a part of filipino culture. But i know that its due to me. Most of the family doesn’t acknowledge me. when i’m in a room with them, i could easily be mistaken to be a statue, most are black right? i’m generally ignored, espesially by the brothers ( that’s her brothers, not blacks for those who may misunderstand that ). I think there are many issues at work here. One of the issues was mentioned in another post. That issue being the thought of a person with dark skin having more than a filipino. Especially if the filipino is working abroad and has the ego to match. If i were white or of a much lighter complexion, maybe that would be no issue, would it? now mind you, this is only a thought. They like other people in this world should realize that ” we are all products of our experiences ” ( whether American or Filipino ), those experiences could easily be positively affected by how we all treat each other or look at each other, we shouldn’t be simply looked at as a color. those who attend church and have religious beliefs should live by those beliefs. are we not all created by the same GOD, one GOD. Thus follows the popular statement that “we are all, regardless of race, genetically 99.9% the same”,[36] although this would be somewhat qualified by most geneticists. Or are some of us to be treated unfairly, i guess the politics of human beings will always want it that way. I can only hope that through message boards like this that those with some sort of power, generally white skinned, will use that power, not be indifferent, to speak against the things that are wrong, even those things that don’t personally affect them in a negative way, or do they? or will speaking up affect that living in more of a fantasy land? Honesty, Sincerity, Kindness should always be far above charm and wealth and even status, but this is what we’re dealing with. I hope that i have brought some understanding for my personal experience and what may be similar experiences to other persons of darker skin. I also hope that their will be some positive responses to my comments. To Hosea, How is Mindanao these days? Hope you’re doing well and keeping your head up moving forward.

  3. Hi Hosea and others,

    I’ve been married to a filipina for more than 10yrs. Visited my in-laws like ten times. I’m Indian by ethnicity. I can relate with Hosea with regards to skin color and filipino perception. Even for white skin, anything less than USA white skin is less appealing. Nothing need to be said about darker skin.

    When my girlfriend (wife now) introduced me to her mother, the first thing out of her mouth was, I thought you were American. I could tell see was a little disappointed when I told her I was not. Even when she was sickly and on a wheelchair, she has since passed away.

    On many occasions I had thought of retiring in Phils for good, but my experiences told me otherwise. I have always left to feel like an outsider within the family. I had lost my family while young and had looked forward to my future in-laws as family. But I was terribly disappointed over and over again. But I still accompany my wife back to visit them.

    Each time we go, we would plan to bring the family for vacation within Phils. But even during this trips, all paid by me, they will still give me the impression that its not good enough. I’m not rich in my home country and have to work for my living.

    A caveat, the following statement applies to most not ALL.
    In all, my observation of Phils is, its a friendly country towards white skinned people, due to colonial baggage. Generally, they assume all western people are rich and they envy them. But towards colored people, their true color is revealed. The other reason is due to their religion. They think a “white man” is their god not knowing Jesus in all probability was a black man. (bbc news)

  4. I’m about to go back to the Philippines for the 2nd time in 2 years. I’ve been invited for drinks by a group of locals in Quezon City. From what I know they do not live in an affluent neighbourhood. They suggested that we drink outside their house one night and that actually kind of worries me. Is it wise as a white foreigner to stay stationary in a place like that? I don’t want to refuse on the basis that the people there are poor. Would it be wise to hire a plain clothes bodyguard?

    Am I just being massively paranoid?

    The first time I went to the Philippines I saw the hostage bus with the Hong Kong tourists. About a week later I saw a dead body lying in a road and a few buses with bullet holes in them. Probably not the best impression in terms of crime rates.

    Thanks.

    • Unless you know the people that are inviting you VERY well or are family it would be extremely unwise to join those that are drinking. Filipinos, like American indians do no mix well with alcohol in any form. Best friends and even brothers will fight and kill each other when drunk. What appears to be a quiet party or get together can turn violent and deadly within seconds. It is not the place to be. Find a nice way to decline the offer. Nine years of living in the Philippines and that is the best advise I can give…

  5. Hi Bob,

    I just wanted to ask you about your experience with the electric fence. You noted in one of your comments against that 100%.. I live in a subdivision up in a community it is not gated or fenced. But the home i live in is fenced and gated. The previous owner moved out because he was robbed soo many times. Too top it off last time was at gun point. In saying that, there are 7 other homes and all have experienced robberies and breaking in the last few years. Just past New years ever an elderly Brit couple were robbed at gun point the man was shot in the leg and the woman was thrown on the ground kicked a few times and pretty bruised up. Now i am considering installing an electric fence on our perimeter wall to eliminate the culprits from even getting the chance at coming inside the compound. These electric fences are not lethal but will give one heck of a shock and will deter any petty criminal from attempting to breach the wall. If the wires are cut an alarm will sound to alarm us or fend off the would be robber. We don’t have any dogs and the reason is, if we are not home for some time out of country or what have you then you have to have someone looking after the dog. Also cleaning up its daily mess is not one of my favorite things to do. If you have some experiences with electric fences could you give me some more insight into that. I am thinking this is a great line of defense, contrary to your beliefs.

    I also have stories of being robbed etc, but i will post that in another post. thanks

    Regards,

    Duane

    • Duane,

      We’re so sorry to hear of your situation. It sounds terrible! Where are you located? We have been lucky so far, but we realize that it’s luck which could change anytime. I feel that most of the rural people living around us would starve before they would steal but it only takes one or two exceptions to do the damage.

      If we were in your situation, we’d relocate somewhere else, but we understand that circumstances may make that impossible.

      We do have some experience with the type of electric fencing you suggest as we had livestock on our farm in New York. Also one our far Filipino neighbors has that type of electric fencing on top of his high wall. I guess it’s worth a try. Put up lots of scary signs and rely on the psychological impact of the nasty sparks. Don’t economize on the charger. Get a powerful one.

      Are you saying you go away and leave your house unoccupied part of the year? We’d never do that in the Philippines or in many places in the US. We’re not big dog lovers but dogs are an essential part of security here. Most Filipinos are afraid of dogs. Our mutts work full time at protecting their turf — and ours.

      Anyway, good luck!

      Bob and Carol

  6. Thanks for creating this blog. It’s very informative! My husband and I are considering relocating to the Phils. in about a year or two but we’re reconsidering because of the restrictive gun laws in the Phils. for foreigners to own guns. We strongly believe in the Second Amendment. To find out that my husband will be defenseless against thugs is not acceptable. I was wondering though, can you put barb wires and electrical fence to fend against bad guys? What are the laws on owning samurai swords. I guess if you can’t have guns, they must allow something to defend yourself. This may sound ludicrous but we just want to cover our defense strategies before giving up our US constitutional right. Thanks for your opinion.

  7. I have lived in the Philippines for 11 years, This has been a very interesting read, as I have lived in rented property, with and without security. I am a Britino even love the food and speak and understand enough Tagalog and Cebano to get on.

    I do have a tendency to shout some times its getting rarer and I have learned to smile and joke just after the stupid outburst. This has actual made me friends and often gets a laugh but always a smile from those I shout at. It is easy to say don’t shout, however our culture sometimes lets us down.

    I now live in a semi secure property in a compound that is mostly populated with ex police and military of whom I get on famously with. Bars on all my windows and a secondary defense two dogs one a Rottweiler and the other a very clever small Filipino mongrel both take residence in my house at night. My Rottweiler has already chased off two burglars, when I see then trying to break in my nearest neighbors house I let him loose. It was a comedy watching one of the burglars just escape through a side gate, that’s locked permanently now.

    Having a big dog and a small dog in the house is a great deterrent my small dog wakes on a pin drop. My big dog accesses the need to be alarmed. A very good team of guard dogs.

    I never have a problem of going out in the day time or night time, I seldom go out after midnight and normal at home in the evenings any way. Dumaguete City Negros does have a crime rate, its pretty low considering and there is defiantly more crime in my home town London UK. We also have the gangs that sometimes come here from Cebu. Foreigners have been mugged and killed mostly because they have been lending money. Got in an argument with the wrong people and showed arrogance. Then that dreaded boy friend of the maid and partners unknown boy friend etc. Not dressing down and displaying a wad of notes.

    I really think a fire proof safe is necessary that is well hidden I actually have two. As there are times one has to place cash in a safe place, so one is not carrying too much around. I do not have a maid at present but sometimes I employ a trusted old maid from my partners family. I employ my partners brother as my gardener and dog handler, very good guy and totally trust worthy, normal does farm work and comes from my partners parents farm up in the mountain provinces.

    Dressing down is a very good idea, been doing that since I got here. I also have a chain on my wallet and inside pockets in my some of my trousers. I check my mirrors carefully after I have visited a ATM. Never stopping between A to B. I do not own a car just two cheap motorbikes one very old. If I buy four wheel transport it will be a second hand looking worn job but kept well maintained.

    My partner also dresses down never wears gold or expensive jewelry and never looks like she has a rich foreigner husband. Still looks total beautiful.

    I must admit I used to play around something I don’t do now day’s no need I a very happy, I limit my foreign friends to only two that I can respect, most of my friends are Filipino’s even there I chose carefully who can enter my house. One can get worried over your security, mostly others have used me as their body guard, it was actually one of the reasons I came to the Philippines. I tend to not get people staring at me talking the language helps as they are used to the Mormons missionaries and sense you been here a very long time. I never attract a crowd where ever I go, but when I first came here that was so.

    Funny enough its my partner that gets up tight about people staring at her, when she is with me, lol. The trick is to learn how to fit in, learn the culture and try to love the food. I really do when its cooked by a good cook. Then never look down your nose, also realize if you find a partner she/he maybe more educated than you. However they may think London and Paris is in America. lol. My partner is smarter than a fifth grader and is interested in world politics and science. I have helped kids here with their home work and was very surprised how smart they where. I often see mostly Americans that are high school drop outs with partners that had graduated from Universities, looking down their nose at the partners educational skills.

    Don’t let the security thing over scare you. Manila or any of the big cities are more of a risk than the smaller cities. Central Philippines such as Cebu tend to be safer from terrorist attacks etc. Try to pick a good area to live. A compound with middle class Filipino’s is a good idea. Then there are places like where I live that neighbors do help each other when a crime happens.

    • Bob,

      Many thanks for your comments and sharing your experiences. I know they’ll be helpful to those considering life in the Philippines. Regarding crime, safety and security, our experiences have been extremely good. We’ve never had anything stolen, never pick-pocketed. On the contrary. When I absentmindedly leave something behind people will stop me to make sure I get it before leaving the jeepney etc.

      Our house is in a pretty isolated rural location on a dead-end road with no close neighbors, but in just over a year we have not had the slightest problem — no one coming over our wall — nothing. Of course that could change in an instant. There have been multiple foreigner murders on our island in the last few years.

      We just try to be realistic in our posts, not to portray the Philippines as an bargain-price Hawaii. We have had people come to the Philippines, based in part on our comments, and then complain that, to them, it’s far from being a tropical paradise we said it was.

      Bob and Carol

      • Your very welcome.

        I also find honesty outside of the larger cities is very good, however never expect honesty in large cities such as Cebu City. However Cities such as Dumaguete City honesty rules. There are of course less crooks as with everywhere crooks ply where the pickings are good.

        The big problem of being a different color and a long nose makes the foreigner stand out, they the crooks and con artist see a big dollar sign so to speak on the forehead. However I felt less unsafe in Florida USA than I have ever felt here. Murders do happen but normally when armed crooks see absolute wealth, large car, big house purchased of built with the money of the foreigner etc. Local talk about what the foreigner has said about money matters etc. Loads of land purchased at a known price as the old land owner will talk about the great deal made. Filipino’s are great at rumors, they love rumors especial many of the women, so one has to take care what is said by anyone in your house hold.

        Those who have been here a long time will have differing views some can be over careful concerning security issues, one thing one must never do is have an electric fence. This causes problems with the neighbors of whom consider electric to be 220 volts. They can go berserk over this security issue.

        My advice to newbies is to make up their own minds concerning the security they implement, but suggest security is a must, those that read these threads will see the main sensible needs. Glad to see this topic here and the experienced EXPAT have took time to share.

    • Hi Bob,

      I have to agree. I’ve been married and have lived here in the islands for nine years. I’ve never felt really threatened or in danger. Gated subdivisions are not for me. I came here to enjoy life and the local people and that’s hardly possible behind walls where only us foreigners live.
      We chose a Mt. Pinatubo resettlement and living with the poorest of the poor. Frustrating at times but over all the best thing we could have done. Day or night we feel safe and accepted by all here. Also the over all cost of living is much lower than in “normal” expat areas…

  8. Hi everyone!
    I read your article and comments. Thanks for information.
    I am a sales manager at company that sells used heavy equipments.
    My boss told me that he wants me to go to Philippines to manage
    our branch. Since then I started to research on Philippines.
    I am not pleased of what I have been reading so far.
    I am concerned for my safety, because I will be managing big money
    and have to manage our employees. Besides that my boss told me
    that I have to rent rooms to other people. (the house is big he says).
    The house is in Makati city and office is in Pasig city.
    After all I have read, I dont trust Philippine people and have an impression
    that they would kill for a penny.
    Is it that horrible in Philippines? What can I do to protect myself in terms
    of how should I treat people? (I dont believe in guard stuff cause if someone
    wants to kill then there is plenty ways to do that).
    Thanks!

    • I think not trusting Philippine people and thinking they would “kill for a penny” is going too far. I’ve lived in the Philippines for five years and managed the crew that built our house. I have had no problems. I have not been robbed or pick-pocketed. I have mostly received respect and kindness. Here’s what I suggest.

      Treat Filipinos with respect and fairness. Never humiliate them. Try to never raise your voice. Pay them what they deserve. Don’t try to cheat them. In short, don’t make enemies, try not to make people angry with you. If you have to hire, fire and manage staff and manage rental properties, you really have to be able to do so with diplomacy, firmness and finesse. Probably you will have security guards to assist you. You have to decide if you have the temperament for this.

      Do not carry any big amount of money or valuables on your person. If you have to, keep it a secret.

      Generally be cautious. Lock your car doors. Lock your house. Don’t display wealth

      There are many opportunities to drink, gamble, party and chase girls (or boys). Hanging out at bars increases your risk of trouble. If you want to be safe, be in your house with the doors locked at a decent hour.

      You don’t mention your sex or nationality. Filipino businessmen have decades of experience in the culture and know where the boundaries, pitfalls and opportunities are. Your boss must think you are up to the challenge. Be fair and respectful. A smile on your face will do wonders. Good luck.

    • Hi Isot,

      Honestly, the Philippines is fine, im 27, been here since i was 20, im from the UK. Never had any real issues, i would have had alot more issues in LONDON than here in manila.

      Common sense is needed, dont be trustworthy of anyone, i mean anyone, for the first few months, while you are learning how things work, this is crucial, because if you go to the Philippines accepting offers and invites from ”friends” trust me you are asking for trouble. If you want to go out clubbing, bars, restuarants, invite your work friends etc to glorieeta malls, or fort bonifacio, rockwell, mall of asia, these type of places are VERY SAFE and very nice.

      For the first few months, stay aways from the raw parts of manila, in the first month i was in manila there were TWO ARMED hold ups at the hotel, captured on CCTV too, thankfully i was unharmed, 4 guys came into the hotel (by the way its a backpackers hotel) and tied up the receptionist and other staff while they emptied the cashier. The hotel owner who im friends with thought it might be an inside job, because watching the CCTV they were very gentle with one of the staff and the rope used to tie her up you could see it wasnt actually tied up at all.

      A few weeks later, i was outside the front of the hotel chatting with guests and staff, i went inside to get some food, we heard a scream and a staff member come in crying, a motorbike had stopped outside of the hotel, a girl (yes girl) got off the bike, pulled a knife out on the staff and pressed it to her stomache, then told her to give her the cellphone and money, which she did, Again, nobody was harmed but both incidents could have been very bad.

      In the past month, i witnessed a mugging right infront of me, shook me up alot tbh. a few weeks later i was driving down EDSA, the main highway/artery for the city, at about lunchtime, so its daytime, loads and loads of people standing around, buses, heavy traffic, and still even at this time i witnessed a guy grab an old lady and pull her purse, amazingly the old lady held onto it, and he cudnt get it, he tried for about 10 seconds and all the 20 or so people around her at the bus stop just watched (nobody will help you), the mugger, who was fat, then just gave up and ran right across the 5-6 lane busy highway right infront of my car, he actually touched my bonnet cus i had to stop, the whole time he was runing he a had huge smile on his face, thats the scary part about it!!! for him it was just fun, also funny that he cudnt take it from an old lady. I was sickended when i saw him smiling and i was so tempted NOT to put the breaks on, i wud have hit hard enough to break alot of bones. Thankfully for him, its not in my instincts to hurt some one.

      • Kris,

        These are really great suggestions, especially about being cautious early on. Thanks for taking the time to share them.

        Bob and Carol

  9. Hello my fellow expats,

    It’s been just over two years since my wife and I have retired here in the Philippines and just over a year since I last posted on this thread. After reading my last comments a year later I feel no need to add much to my previous comments. Although I am that guy that is always studying his surroundings. Always analyzing whats what. I have noticed some things about myself and how it fits into where I live now.

    In trying to look at my situation from eyes looking in from the outside, (not easy to do). I noticed something about myself that I kind of already knew but wasn’t aware how it would effect me in a different culture. What I noticed is how my race and who I am seems to be a big factor in my interactions with those around me.

    It would take some time to explain to most people but even those that are not of my ethnic background may understand somewhat from just the American aspect of it. I’m not sure how westerners are from other countries but we Americans are taught for good reasons that we are the masters of our own space. You will have a hard time surviving in America if you see life any other way.

    What I have noticed is that bringing that understanding and way of life (culture) here to the Philippines can get in the way of assimilating into Philippine life. For one thing and I don’t think or feel it is a small thing. I hate Filipino food. I am kind of lazy now and don’t want to cook so I find myself paying a lot of attention to eating and what I can eat.

    One very peculiar thing is trying to look outside of who I am and what color skin I have in how Filipinos react, respond and treat dark skinned and people of African decent or even dark skinned Filipinos. From my very first visit I noticed something was wrong when my wife insisted I get some lotion for my dry skin. I went to pick up any old lotion until my wife said “you don’t want that”! Shocked, I asked why and she said, “read that”! About six shelves of skin whitening lotion!?

    Why am I mentioning things like this on a subject of living safely here in the Philippines? Well, those of you that look like me may already know. We are viewed differently even here where so many have a similar history. In many places I am treated as I am in the US from time to time. Less than American. Many of my wife’s friends and family make comments like he is “black American” in a condescending way. Many times they are darker skinned than I am. I see myself as American first, by the way.

    Even when it comes to “the rich American” problem. I have noticed in the markets, malls and just around town more attention is given to Black foreigners. It seems to me what ever that means, it equals the same problem. We attract more attention just being here low key or not.

    I have found that my male in-laws seem a little insulted that this black American has more then they do. Not to my face but to my wife there has even been threats and insults thrown my way for no reason other than “he doesn’t understand my English”. Now I understand why Mexicans and Asians seem to us to always say yes to everything we say. Sometimes it seems best to just agree or seem to agree.

    Being a strong willed person (husband and father). I have had to learn to be even more humble than I already was just to stay out of the way. I once told a family member here that has worked abroad and somewhat understands the American’s way (in frustration) of how I felt unwarranted negatively treated, that I am an American and I can’t change that. His response was that my problems are my fault. That other family members are upset with me because I am rich and every time they see me with anything they are resentful.

    I hear stories that I have 42 million pesos. Which concerns me some. I ask how can anyone think I have money like that when my car is always broke down, I’m wearing the same clothes I had on two years ago, still building (very slowly) our house for lack of money and on and on…. My wife even borrows from family and the maid now and then because our money runs out by the end of the month. I don’t like that she does that by the way.

    What have I learned from this experience? I am wondering how other people of African decent experiences have been in this regard. And I wish I had bought far from family and moved into a gated community with really good security. Maybe I should have moved to somewhere other than Mindanao.

    • Hosea,

      I’m so sorry to be so late in responding to your post. I really wanted to think it over. I’m a more or less white guy, so I hear things that might not be said in the presence of a person of color. I do feel that many Filipinos do look down of people of color; dark complected Filipinos, Aetas and other mountain tribes and people of African descent. — sometimes to a shocking degree. If you are a well-to-do, well-spoken African American, then these Filipinos will get over their innate prejudices. There was a former U.S. Ambassador to Niger who retired to Iloilo. I never heard a single negative word about him. He was charming, well fixed and well liked but we cannot all be so blessed. It’s more or less the same as in the U.S. Charm and wealth overcome prejudice — if you have charm and wealth!

      Probably living in an upscale, gated subdivision would help, just as staying out of redneck country might be a good idea in the U.S. Upscale, educated Filipinos will realize that such prejudice is improper.

      That’s about all I can contribute. Hopefully readers of color can give their own thoughts.

      Bob

    • Awww the last word you said, MINDANAO, that might be the problem, did you experience the same type of stuff in manila?

      Im a white guy from the uk, in my twenties and i used to get treated differently alot too, i always told people back home, if your a bit of an attention seeker you will love the Philippines, but for me ,i dont like attention or being treated good or bad based on my skin colour.

      But ive been here along time now and i dont even think about it anymore. You said you have been here two years, i think after a few more years your problems will go away, have you noticed you also act differently since you have been here? Personally i did for several years, after a while i got comfortable and i noticed ppl stopped treating me differently. which i like.

    • Hi Hosea,

      Very good reading your post. I can readily identify with what you say. I too am a Black American, originally from L.A. The area I lived in was nice, once upon a time, but has now been re-designated as “South Central” like everything south of Hollywood seems to be nowadays. I ran with the street guys when I was young, survived that, did my military thing and, believe or not, eventually became a cop. ( I hope you are still reading. ) The challenges we faced back home prepared us for most situations and armed us with knowledge and experience not always shared by others. My Filipina wife of 18 years is now learning that, since we came here to live 5 months ago, she is not actually considered a native any longer. I have felt just like you how her family somehow seems disappointed in her for marrying a black man. Although I am of a lighter complexion I don’t think I can be mistaken for anything other that what I am. I constantly feel like an outsider where ever we go. My color probably does make me even more visible, just as you said. We have chosen to live in Tagaytay City because it is so much cooler here. I have read all of the warnings about traveling in Mindinao and wouldn’t even consider going there. The crime rate here is supposed to be lower than other areas but I am not deluded at all. I know from first hand experience that it is much better to prepare for the worst case and hope for the best. I don’t trust anyone. Never have, for that matter. We take all the steps we can to secure our home and persons. My wife is a dual citizen so she can own a firearm. I hope that I never have to experience any of the things that I read about but I try to prepare, just in case. When out, my radar is in high gear. I sometimes carry a walking stick which might help. Better than nothing. I have felt and seen guys trying to position themselves around me at ATMs or just on the street. They quickly see that I am aware of them. Girls too. Don’t turn your back if you can help it. I once went to see about buying a used car in Manila and the dealer wouldn’t allow us to test drive the car saying that they were afraid of being kidnapped. I told them that it is usually us foreigners that get kidnapped not the other way around. Funny, huh? Let me tell you what happened to my sister-in-law. She and her husband owned a nice business and usually paid their staff with cash. One day she was sent to the bank to pick up the payroll in stead of the usual person that did this. She exited the bank, got into her car and 2 guys on motor bikes rode up, shot her in the backside and grabbed the black bag visible on the seat beside her, as though they knew what to look for. Fortunately, they got the wrong bag. But the robbers both had Ar-15 assault rifles. I don’t believe the average crook here has these but I know that the police do. Inside job? Probably.
      If you ever get to Tagaytay you should look me up. I have always wanted to meet other Afo- Americans living here. It’s good to talk with someone with a similar background. This is my first visit to this site so I don’t know if we can share contact information like on expatforum. Take care, brother and keep on keeping on.

      Mike

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  11. this was interesting reading kinda got me thinking a little more now.

    i wanted to share a little of my time here as for me i really not had that much problems with the people i had a couple of small problems one of them being a guy trying to screw me out of money but that matter was soon cleared up and the other matter was a couple of young lads throwing quite big stones at me as i ride past and as many would think is giving them a good slap but not a good idea.

    a couple of other things that has happened around the area i live in some time last week a indian guy was a target to be robbed it turned out he was running a lending business he was pulled over by 2 guys on a motorbike one of them pulled out a gun the indian guy refused to hand over any money and ended up getting shot.

    my advise and i believe many would agree if this kind of thing happens is just hand it over loosing a few thousand is better than loosing your life and i also agree its not a good idea to be in the lending business.

    the second thing and it relates to guns one never know who has a gun hidden for example sunday 13th aug 3 guys was being chased by police then all of a sudden 5 gun shots fired it was lucky the police managed to get the under control because we never knew what could of happen and its always best to be safe and be on the ball at all times.

    one of the things i did read in this comment and it seems to be a big thing with some of us round eyes and thats women i have met a few round eyes over the past 3 years of my time here and it always seems some guys cant keep it in his pants and not even thinking about what could happen down the line i have heard of cases of some guys being arrested for rape when the truth be told it wasnt rape and sometimes its all because of money its sad but true and one bit of advice i can give is one must keep it in his pants and this is coming from a 31 year old..

    i think people who come to the philippines from the USA UK or other parts of the western world need to think of ways to protect his/her self when going out one of them is by being on the ball at all times keep your eyes wide open.

    me personaly this is how i go about my day/night out first of all when leaving the house i can take 1 of 2 ways out to the main road and when going about my trip if i goto a mall or any place i goto all the time i tend to take different routes to get to where i want to go.

    when going out i tend to take as little money with me as possible or enough to cover what i want to buy and a little extra to cover petrol or if i need to get a tire fixed if i ever need to carry a large amount of money i tend to wear a pair of shorts under what i plan to wear and i zip up any large amount of money in the pockets in the shorts so if someone do feel the need to rob me they will only get whats in the pockets seen and not whats hidden and the same for my mobile phone.

    if i ever go out for a beer i tend to goto places that has many people incase anything should happen then the chances are someone witnessed it.

    i have always found here that showing off is a big no no for example i knew of a guy who has a big mouth flashing the cash and always showing up in quite a bit of bling and that got him into some trouble when he was leaving the bar and ended up losing around 10k in cash plus all his bling.

    end of the day the philippines is a nice place and has many nice places to visit and most of the people here are really nice and will go that extra mile to help and if one keeps his/her head down dont act like they know everything and not show off then one will have a good life here.

    lastly part of my comment here was something about guns now i know us round eye cant own a gun or even carry but one thing i am trying to find out but cant seem to find any info online is what is the laws regarding taser/stun guns and is it possible we are aloud to own and carry one..

    i hope my comment didnt bore some and hope some of my input is of use and good luck and enjoy your stay here in the phils

    take care all

  12. Very balanced and well-written advice, Bob. To piggy-back on your accurate observation that so many crimes against foreigners are connected to girlfriends or household help, I’ve noticed something else. 90% or more of the foreign violence victims I have come to know of in the past 5 years I have lived here involve the bar and/or restaurant business.

    Foreigners often seem to come here with the dream of opening such a business. I advise against that. Also, hanging out in bars, even if not chasing women, is not a wise move, IMO.

    Lastly, beware also of anything high profile. A good foreigner friend, a clinical psychologist in his working life, was well known here in my province for devoted volunteer work, counselling jail inmates and former inmates in halfway house programs. Working tirelessly for the Philippine people, recieving no pay, either, by the way. A candidate for sainthood one might almost assume.

    But due to his work, he became a close associate of the provincial governor and was honored publicly at a number of politically-oriented functions (read “Photo-Ops”).

    He was found dead by a single gunshot, lying alongside his truck on a deserted stretch of highway. Th police dismissed it as a suicide. I doubt that was the case.

    High publicity notoriety and open friendship with a controversial political figure would be more my guess.

    Jealously runs rampant here, it doesn’t matter that he was a volunteer, to many, he was occupying a position and place of stature that a Filipino should have occupied.

    Also politics in the Philippines is often a very deadly business, with grudges going back generations, that no foreigner is ever likely to understand.

    Keep you head down, even when you are working for a “good cause”.

    • Dave, thanks for your kind words. You are right, I did not include the dangers of trying to operate a business here. I’ll revise the post to include that. I am determined not to be involved in any business here. So many Americans have run businesses back home and just can’t resist the urge to get involved in one here. Money lending, pig raising, beach resorts, bars and girly bars come to mind. Money lending seems especially dangerous. You’ll be in business competition with Filipinos. If you out-compete them, they’ll be resentful. You’ll be unnecessarily visible and engaged. With money lending, you’ll identify yourself as having money and having money in your home. We had an Australian into money lending murdered on our island. Below is the account of his murder.

      Whenever a foreigner is murdered foreigners and local alike try to find a way that it was the victim’s fault. According to the news reports, this gentleman, a 6’5″ retired policeman, was involved in money lending, property disputes with his neighbors and kept valuables in his house. Further new reports said the possibility of insider involvement was being investigated. Perhaps being a retired policeman and 6’5′ made him feel invulnerable. We had a 6’4″ martial arts master murdered by some teenagers in Iloilo. I think I’m safer because I’m small and timid!

      I read such reports with alarming frequency. Maybe some of these murders are solved but I think most are not. I am somewhat familiar with the Mike Mikesell case and wrote a post about it because it showed how doing good can just as dangerous as any other form of high-profile activity in the Philippines. I have a friend who is doing wonderful work helping local kids get cleft lip and cleft palate repairs. He has learned that even with that, he has to keep his head down. The murder report I mentioned is copied below.

      ROBBERY, old grudges and business rivalry are the possible motives being eyed in the murder and robbery of an Australian national in a coastal village of Ajuy early morning Tuesday. Werner Holz, 62, a retired police officer from Australia, died of more than 20 stab wounds in his chest, back and neck.
      Holz’s stab-riddled body was found past 4am yesterday in his bed inside his 1.5-hectare beach front residence at Brgy. Pili, Ajuy. Based on the testimonies of Holz’s Ilongga wife, Vivian Posadas-Holz, her husband went outside their house past 12 midnight to urinate. Five minutes after he returned to bed, three masked men wielding pistols and a knife barged inside their room. Two of the suspects immediately overpowered the 6-foot, 5-inch Holz and repeatedly stabbed him. Dr. Noel Martinez, PNP medico legal, said Holz died of 24 stab wounds in the body and neck. The third suspect then ordered Vivian to open the safety vault inside the master’s bedroom. According to the initial count by investigators, the suspects took away an estimated P200,000 cash, US$5,000 cash and P800,000 worth of jewelry from the vault. The suspects then tied up Vivian and locked her inside the comfort room. When the suspects left, the wife cried for help but the nanny of their 7-year-old son only responded to her plea around 4am. The unidentified nanny said she did not mind Vivian’s cry for help thinking that the couple were arguing inside their room. But when the nanny entered the master’s bedroom, she saw the bloodied Holz on the bed. The Holz household then asked help from their neighbors who called Pili barangay officials and tanods to the crime scene.

  13. Im english i live in uk been to dumughte 14 times no problems,
    the americans seem to worry a lot about crime lighten up enjoy yourself dont worry

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  15. I would like to add my most recent experience about burglars and trespasser.

    In August 23, 2010 about 12,30 pm, Manila time, I did encounter spider man trying to climb the perimeter fence in my temporary rental property.

    Lucky for him, I was awake, downstairs, trying to make a couple of phone calls back to the States, when I heard the neighborhood dogs bark radically and my motion security lights on (two of them) , I saw this guy almost over the fence in a orange shirt and black pants.

    My first intentions was to grab my aluminum baseball bat. step outside and whack him! My common sense rule me, I opt for screaming as loud as I could ” HEY YOU MOTHER F***KER!!! Why? Because I was worry that he was working in pairs of two or both were carrying guns.

    Not only that, I choose to stay inside and do the last man stand behind my apartment walls. I stood a better chance of survival.

    The trespasser, he jump in reverse and left in hurry, not turning around and I just stood guard duty for the rest of the night until day light.

    Concerns and issues

    What could I do to improve my physical security of my home?

    I bought a home magnetic strip alarm system at Wilcom depot in Manila.

    It covers my front sliding windows and main door, it has a 150 db alarm speaker, basically it has too magnets, facing each other.

    Once the magnet seal is broken it will activate the sound alarm. It includes a magnetic tape that I’m using in the front glass window in case of breaking the glass.

    Second, I’m trying to negotiate with the landlord too fabricate a window steel gate and a steel gate door. Since this is not my property.

    I did installed a sensor movement with an audible alarm in the back of the apartment were the wet kitchen is located.

    Lately in my neighborhood, there was 2 house burglaries, One of the burglaries that took place everything was stolen from the house, while the owners were sleeping upstairs with AIR CONDITIONER!

    The second home burglary, the thieves carved themselves through the roof.

    I cant afford to move for know, because I’m building my home and it will be finish in 2 more months, yet. I do worry about my family safety and security.

    My wife’s uncle, did offer me to borrow one of his gun, I told him politely, “Uncle respectfully, the steps of the city hall are endless when you kill someone, even do, if it was in self defense. Families vendettas do up roar because everyone related to the defunct he or she was “Always an Angel”.

    I rather stick to sound and light and my beloved bat!

    I’m open for any suggestions!

    • Hi David,

      Sorry for your bad experiences. I’m surprised to hear of a Manila property without security bars on the windows. Also, you don’t mention a dog, usually a first line of defense. Maybe a dog is not possible at your place? We are not living in our house yet, but the workers do. They have three Philippine mutts. Anyone coming over the wall would receive a ferocious greeting. There are prowlers in our neighborhood, but none have dropped over the wall to brave the dogs.

      I think it’s quite common to sleep though burglaries. We had friends in Iloilo who had a break in through a second floor window with no security bars. They were in their bedroom with the aircon on and did not hear anything. The break-in was during their very first night in their rental house.

      Aside from dogs and security bars and the things you are already doing, can you make your bedroom secure, so that if they get in, at least you will not be harmed?

      The roof is always a vulnerability, no matter how well the rest of the house is secured. It seems breaking in though the roof would make some noise. Hopefully the robbers could be scared off before they can get inside. If not, then it gets really dangerous.

      Good luck!

  16. Very informative. You have scared me really good! I say good because I do understand where you are coming from. Sometimes you have to scare good since into people that have been spoiled all their life living in countries where it is difficult to see the crime that is happening around them. The US is a very dangerous place to live. I think the danger is only viewed in a different way here in the Philippines.

    I lived in a very nice neighborhood in Southern California. During the daylight hours all you really had to worry about when walking through your neighborhood in most of the city was a loose dog now and then. Night time was a different story. For the most part, probably nothing would happen if you ventured out at night but I was still very cautious when doing so. I was would worry about going out to the local McDonald’s late at night. If the food didn’t kill you, you really needed to be looking around your car to see if anyone was walking up on you to rob, kill or both.

    I have only lived here in the Philippines (permanently) for a year now. I have a very large and well respected family (by most of the locals). As it has seemed all my life I stand out for some reason. Most times I have no idea why. In this case it is mostly because we are the “rich Americans”. It seems no matter how many times and how many ways I explain to my family and friends here that not all Americans are rich (for sure not me) they just don’t believe it. I can understand why. Mostly what they see in the movies and American TV, all Americans are rich. We all have jobs, cars, homes and many toys so we must be rich. In some ways I guess we are. Although I don’t have much (can’t even pay my mortgage in the US) I have much more than most that live near me here in the Philippines.
    For the most part, what you said about not showing off what you have is very difficult when those around you are convinced no matter what you say or do, that you are rich. So what do I do? Well, before I was able to bring my wife to the US I had steel security doors made for the newly remodeled house she was living in. Concrete wall, security bars on the windows, motion sensitive lights and many four legged security alarms (as you called them). The only way in this house short of heavy equipment is the roof. If they are coming in that way, there isn’t much you can do anyway. I felt better going back to the US knowing my wife and PhilAm daughter would be safer until I could get them home to the US. You should have seen what I had to go through to get the security doors made. At that time, they were not in the hardware stores and know one understood why I wanted gates for our front and rear doors. One guy refused to do the job because he though the American must really be crazy to want such a thing. Nothing is getting through those doors. You would be better off trying to knock down the outside walls.

    My wife won’t let me go anywhere without her unless I am with one of her brothers. For the most part I am okay with that. Just as in the US we try not to walk around at night but even then most people we pass knows us and the rest of the family if they aren’t family themselves.

    With all that said, why did I chose the city I live in now? One word, DUTERTE

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  18. I dunno, I have walked the streets of Manila from dusk till dawn, something I wouldn’t be happy doing in my own home town, and yes, there were a few that tried to scam me a little, but a ready smile and more self confidence than would be prudent in many other locations, won the day/night. Most crimes I hear of are oppurtunistic and rarely life threatening, the exception being crimes of passion and drug related crime, both making the assailant unpredictable and dangerous, in any location. Personnally I think a lot of foreigners forget that they are indeed just that, foreigners, and especially after consuming alcohol, some have that mayabang male bravado air of superiority; just asking for trouble!

  19. Hi MFR,

    I’m afraid it’s not a good advice to read the forums on the net. Their info is very negative often.
    CdO is a very nice place to live if you know where to live. There are subdivisions in the hills that you might like so much. And it’s still very close to the SM Mall.
    I am Dutch and I live there now for 3 years.
    There’s no danger here, not a bit.
    The subdivision i live is called Xavier Estates: try
    to find info about it on the net.
    Of course i am not the only foreigner living here:
    you’ll find Americans, Dutch, Germans and many other
    nationalities. of course there are also Filipinos….

  20. Josh,

    Thanks for your excellent, excellent suggestions. I just have one observation based on my own happy experiences. You said “Good Filipina wives are those who are professionals, have college education.” My wife and I have been married for almost seven years. She had to quit school to work so she’s not a professional and does not have a high school degree, let alone a college degree. Nonetheless, she has integrity and intelligence. I’m so blessed to have her.

    Bob

  21. MFR,

    We strongly recommend that you join the Yahoo online group for those living in or interested in Cagayan de Oro. Just click this link http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Expats-in-Cagayan-de-Oro/ and sign up. There is a good group of expats there and the general view seems to be the CDO is one of the better Philippine retirement locations.

    Bob and Carol

  22. GENERAL INFO-

    I AM PLANNING ON MOVING TO CAGAYAN DE ORO,WITHIN A VERY FEW MONTHS–I AM A RETIREE,AND ONE THAT AFTER ALMOST 39YRS OF WORKING,IS READY FOR R/R–IS THEIR ANYONE OUT THERE THAT CAN GIVE ME INFO,OF CAGAYAN DE ORO-AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS SAFE FOR A FOREIGNER-I HAVE LIVED 1/2 MY LIFE IN NEW YORK, AND THE OTHER 1/2 IN CHICAGO,SO I CAN WRITE VOLUMES ON CRIME-AND THE MANY GAMES THAT R PLAYED FOR A FAST BUCK-NOW I AM SEEKING SOLACE,IS C.D.O.SAFE-AND IS THEIR A CERTAIN AREA IN C.D.O.THAT SOMEONE CAN RECCOMMEND FOR SAFE LIVING???

    WITH PATIENCE
    M.F.R.

  23. I am from Iloilo, but i live here in the United States. To foreigners who live in the Philippines, i would like to make some reminders so that you can avoid being a victim while in any part of the region in the Philippines.

    1. Never assume that everything is safe in the Philippines. Always make some reservations. When you hire someone to do laundry, gardening, etc., always know where that person from. Avoid hiring someone recommended by a person that you dont know fully well. Avoid hiring someone who lives in squaters area. It is better to hire someone who came from the province.

    2. Never display your valuables in your house. It will be a point of target by burglars. Remember, any area of the Philippines, to some extent, may or may not have someone who are tempted to do crime for the sake of getting the money in an easier or shorter way. The best way to avoid this is to keep your gate close, keep guard dogs at night time, have a light on around your house at night, and make your room safe in case someone will break in.

    3. Whenever you heard someone at night outside the vicinity of your house, never go out and check, but call your trusted neighbors to wake up and let someone check it for you.

    4. If you have maids, instruct them not to allow anyone to come in or open the gate and door for them to come in during the day and night, especially if this person is a boy friend from the neighborhood that is untrustworthy.

    5. Always conduct an on the spot check of your helpers if they can be trusted or not. Remember, money is hot and it can tempt someone to do a crime. The moral is, never show that you have money or have a lot of it.

    6. Establish good relations with neighbors. The best way to do this is to become nice to them, not financially, but by being there during celebrations of birthday, wedding, and burial. If your neighbor brings gifts for occasion, you do the same in return, probably by buying cake or soda for celebration- not monetary.

    7. Before you stay in the neighborhood, make sure you know the area well by surveying the trusted opinions of the people. Let someone do it for you- educated Filipino can do the survey for you.

    8. Make sure when you choose a Filipina partner, better know the background of the woman. Never marry someone that you just met from the bar. Good Filipina wives are those who are professionals, have college education, and those that dont do bars. Those who do bars all the time are not really worth marrying for. They are there for your money- not love.

    9. Don’t shame your helpers. Filipino are sensitive. Shaming them will create rage deep inside and you dont know what they are capable of doing.

    10. Never go out alone and get drunk. You will be a target by bad guys. Never let someone get into your car. When you go home drunk, better call or let your trusted neighbor drive for you and stand by you.

    11. Always watch you back. Never go the parks alone. Most bad guys hang out in park ready to rob you or kill you.

    12. The best place to stay are areas with good neighborhoods. Never stay or live in areas that are several miles away from neighbors. You will be target of burglars.

    13. Lock your rooms when you live your house. It is better for you to let someone clean up your room when you are there.

    14. Never go home late at night alone and ride in a jeepney or taxi. You have to avoid dangers but not being in that situation.

    15. Never pick up a girl from the street or ask a hotel guy to call girls they know. Most likely there will be inside job which will happen. Girls have contacts from gangs who protect them and rob you or kill you.

    16. When you are in a hotel, always lock your room from inside and never open it when you are not trusting someone outside.

    • Totally agree, very good advice for the newby. However I have known some guys that took a girl out of the bars and they have made good wives. Normally there because of situations like having a baby and the boyfriend ran off. However I consider it a bet that does not normally pay off. as its hard to take the bar out of the girl.

      Many high school graduates make for good wives, its also better to find a girl that comes from the provenances than from cities or urban environments. Normally one finds their families are less demanding as you know when you marry a Filipina your marrying the family. I also recommend marrying the older sister as she has clout in the family. Not to live to near to the family or the grandmother and mother may be running your household. The daughter normally has an obligation to provide a small amount of money to her parents even if she lives away from home. This could cause a problem of loss of face if she can not help. I give my partner 1500 pesos each month to send to her parents. Sometimes a bit more if they need money for seed as they are farmers. Her family are great and cause me no problems.

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